Batman Forever

So with the Dark Night Rises out and the latest trilogy coming to an end I was wanting to watch some of my old favorite Batman movies and someone asked me the name of the actor who played Batman in Batman Forever. I couldn't remember so I went to IMDB and the first thing I noticed was the atrociously low rating the movie had. I loved Batman Forever. What was their problem? Obviously I had to find out so I started to read the reviews and was a bit startled. People were attacking everything about the move calling on weak character motivations and poor acting to support them.

I want to start with all the attacks on the Riddler. In the cartoons and comics I always hated the Riddler. He was irritating and incompetent and I never really understood his motivation. His motivation was what I loved about the movie. He wasn't a stupid man. He was a socially awkward scientist who was trying to live up to his dream of having Bruce Wayne acknowledge and commend him. However people have been interfering and so when he does finally get to meet Bruce he gets publicly embarrassed and it was too much for him to handle. He was already on the edge so he back flips off the deep-end and kills the man who embarrassed him and sets out to prove to Bruce that his idea can work and earn his respect where he continues to spiral out of control. This seems like great motivation to me! Where is it lacking? While no one I know has ever become a super villain trying to earn an idols respect I've seen and heard of some pretty ridiculous antics and hoops people jump through to get that pat on the back and movies are meant to take things to the next step so it's more dramatic than real life.

Next thing they dug into was Tommy Lee Jones. Bite me. He's a great actor and I loved his portrayal of two-face. We can agree to disagree here. He kicked ass. I loved his acting. I loved the character. I loved how he died in the end. Enough said.

As if all this wasn't bad enough people started to dig at Nicole Kidman's role. No shit she's the sexy doctor who is there to be a love interest. That's like digging at Lois Lane for not being able to see that Superman and Clark are the same man. It has comic book logic. Batman always has a love interest he is saving in the movies. What actually surprised me is people seemed to be most pissed that the night she invited Batman over she fell asleep in a sexy nightgown waiting on him. They wanted her to be wearing clothes. News flash: If a woman is trying to seduce a man to get his clothes off (specifically the mask) she isn't going to put clothes on to do it. Also I don't know about you but I've been in bed waiting on my man to get to bed and fallen asleep before. It happens. Back off.

You know I even found one review calling Bruce Wayne's motivation for being Batman weak? I mean really? Have you never read Batman before? He has the same motivation he has had in every other movie, cartoon, and comic.

I could go on about this for several more paragraphs but in the end it's still a bitch fit about people's opinion. I loved Batman Forever. I hated the one with Penguin. You are entitled to your own opinion and unless you have something specific you want me to address I'm done talking about it.

I will give some credit, Robin was weak. I really just wanted to backhand him when he stole the Batmobile. I will add, if criminals killing family is good enough motivation for Batman it's good enough for Robin.

Going to watch Batman Forever,
Corset signing off

Resident Evil 5

I've never really been a fan of the Resident Evil games. I went through a bought where I loved the movies but the games just never really stuck. However who am I to turn down a good deal so about two years? ago now one of the local Blockbusters were shutting down so there were a lot of games on the cheap. Resident Evil 5 Special Edition was one of them. Now getting it for $15 made it worth it to me if for no other reason than it came with a messenger bag and that was practical.

Well life happens more often than I would like and I had other games I actually wanted to play so I put it on the back burner. Now fast forward. Life is happening, world keeps turning, I'm surfing Netflix watch instant and find Resident Evil Degeneration and it reminds me. So pop it in the 360 it's time for a killing spree. 

First thing I want to say about this game play is do NOT play one player. Your NPC partner is glued to your hip and constantly circled me like a buzzard. The simplest task they give me, run in a straight line turns into barge my partner out of the way and hope I run faster than her. Then they are like pick up your first gun (yeah!) except my partner has decided to run in place next to me right in front of the gun box.

Ignoring the little things that playing it multi-player would fix, this game brings out the reason I am not fond of shooters where there is nothing extraordinary to make up for the painful task of aiming. Now if you ask me to hit the body, ok I can do that. If you want me to hit its head because it's a zombie give me a minute. I like slow freaky things coming after me. Auto aiming games have spoiled me over the years as have the close enough rule. Oh I missed his head but it was a 12 gauge so close enough. I just shot blindly but its an automatic machine gun so probably close enough to what I meant to hit.

My only big bitch at this point in the game is why can I not walk and swing a knife? Why can I not turn in circles while swinging a knife. I have it. It worked better than my gun when I can bottle neck the things. However Using that knife paralyzes me. It bugs me and seems like poor planning on their part. If I want to run wildly into creatures swinging a knife that comes with the character I should get to. 

All that being said the two player mode was a lot more enjoyable. Playing with the man meant no NPC on my hip wasting all my ammo. Instead I had someone to help me heckle the game while we murdered everything the game would let us. I can't say I'm super impressed by the plot but it makes for a decent game so far. I think some of the controls are overly complicated but that's just an aspect that I need to adjust to. New game and all that.

Overall I can't say I felt screwed out of my money (messenger bag made it totally worth it) but I probably won't play through it more than once.

Corset signing off. 

L.A. Noire

So let's talk about LA Noire, better yet, lets not. I have never been so turned off by a game in the first five minutes in my entire gaming life. I understand that most games give you a bit of game play to figure out how the world works but at a certain point I expect them to cut the strings and let me go. It was like GTA with railroad tracks going through the middle. It hurt to play.

Maybe I need to explain. I love the Grand Theft Auto series because when they put me behind the wheel of a vehicle they aren't going to auto fail whatever I am doing because I happened to strike a few jay walking pedestrians. In L.A Noire one of the first things they teach me to do is drive the car that has all the maneuverability of the Titanic. Well whatever says I. How much driving could there be? Apparently a lot. I either have to run to where I am going or drive the car. If I hit to many people I fail whatever it is I am doing and yet even with the siren on no one really seems motivated to get out of may way. I had fun testing this when driving at the speed of a steamroller toward a pedestrian in the road. I have to say the most fun I've had with the car is jumping in and letting my partner chase me around the city.

So fine whatever, driving sucks, nothing new here. So I am going along doing my police officer thing when I fail my first interrogation. Oh no! I leave the room my boss chews me out and then I get to start over. Again, again, and again. At no point are there any consequences for failing other than I'm not allowed to skip the cut scenes. I thought this was a fluke so later on I get it right and move on about my life. I decide to catch a random criminal whose decided to run off in the same direction I am going anyway. Oops the guy gets away, whatever. No wait. Now I'm back in the car having to decide if I really wanted to go get him. I once again don't have the option to fail. Lucky me this time I have the option to ignore.

It seems like everything I do in this game turns into some tedious task. I'm playing a game to have fun not do it til I get it right. There are times when I want to fail because I don't want to do things a certain way. Don't imply there will be consequences then say I can't actually chose to take them. It's irritating.

Moving on. As far as looks, the game is pretty. I found Heavy Rain to be prettier but L.A Noire is more cute. They have old fashioned music that really tries to bring you into the world (before game play makes you hate it) and some cut scenes about the guys past that make you feel for the character. Even logging in you get to choose your menu option and it flashes on the wall like a shadow. One thing I found hysterical was that when you get close to a clue you get special music and the remote starts to vibrate but it also gave me the vibe of skill not required. I don't like having my hand held in games. Don't give me a mystery then solve it for me. Once again, it's aggravating.

Now I'm not saying there are no redeeming values in the game I'm just having trouble finding enough of them for me to keep playing. I found the driving to distracting from the game play for me to get very involved. It seems every other moment I'm back in the car or running after someone. Long story short this game doesn't float my boat and will probably be going back to the store as a down payment on one of the games coming out in the near future. We'll see.

Corset moving back to fantasy games,
Signing off.